This is a true story of an experience very close to my heart. It’s been begging to spill out for a while. So here goes…

The connection was electric. Palpable even. From the first time I met him – a handsome, intelligent, respectable, caring Christian man. I knew (or thought I knew) that he was the one. A couple of months passed and we saw each other a few times, yet neither or us acknowledged the feelings. But as time passed hugs, smiles, winks, waves, and a bit of lingering ensued. I was definitely getting mixed signals. Turned down for coffee, even ignored at times… especially in the presence of friends. But still hugged, winked and waved at. When the smile was flashed, and I saw it… boy, I felt like jelly, or like I was losing touch with reality. Was it infatuation? Or, did he love me? Or, was he just playing with my heart?

Oh, and that connection? It was felt by others too.

Eventually New Year’s Eve came around and we found ourselves at the same party. We had a few “moments” that evening, shared some laughs and smiles, but nothing very concrete. After the party was over I asked him to take a picture of me. Why? Because I literally wanted one of me and I trusted him to take it. “Did you want me in the picture?” He asked. Wait, what?! My brain went into a tailspin. Since when did he want a picture of “us”? Apparently I was out of the loop… were we a “thing”?

We took a selfie, thankfully on my phone. It was a little blurry (but, truth be told, this is still my favorite picture of us). Then, he asked another person to take one of us. My mind was still spinning as the person took our picture. I thought for sure something more would happen. I mean, come on! This was New Year’s Eve for pete’s sake. What girl wouldn’t think the guy (who wanted a picture together) would ask her for a date after a few moments like that?

Holding my breath, fingers crossed, hoping…

And now, many months have passed and nothing but silence. Honestly? I’ve barely seen him since last New Year’s. And yet, I’ve persisted in my prayers… pleaded, and begged God for something to happen. And still nothing.

Here we are, with another New Year’s Eve knocking at the door. I’ve decided not to go to the same party. Mainly because I’m tired of the games, the masks of steel, the fortified walls, the messing with my heart that this whole charade has done. It hurts! I want the genuine connection, the transparency, vulnerability and authenticity. I desire the connection that comes not only from feelings, but from knowing each other deeply. From intentional conversations spilling late into the night, sharing heart’s desires and passions that God has placed there, praying with hands clasped tightly together for our needs, those of our family, and others beyond our reach.

I know there is a man out there who will know wholeheartedly and worship the God I know, the Creator of the universe, my Heavenly Father. He will be a godly man, full of integrity and strength. Transformed by the grace of Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit. With leadership skills, not afraid of what God’s purpose is for him (and us) to live out.

So men, when you meet a woman who loves Jesus and one with whom you have a true connection. Don’t shy away from her. Take the initiative. Be the man, the leader you are called to be. May your yes be YES, or your no be NO. And if she beats you to the punch and asks you to coffee, maybe don’t just shut her down, maybe she has an inkling from God that there could be something more, something truly beautiful God has planned for you two together.

And ladies, let’s keep our actions in check. Are you flirting just because you want his attention? What are you dressing like? Are you respecting him?

Just keeping it real folks. I get it, we’re all human – fallen, sinful beings. But that doesn’t negate the fact that God is still God and His Words in the Bible to love and respect men and women still stand true. The ultimate hope is in Christ, but Paul calls us to pursue Eph. 5:33 in our marriage relationships – “…let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Remembering that our obedience to Him, our Redeemer, is still our first priority.

Still waiting, faithfully trusting, earnestly praying for my man. And yes, I am full of hope and fully loved by my amazing and awesome Heavenly Father.

‘Til next time.