Lies…

Let that word sink in. What does it make you feel like?

Does it make you uncomfortable? Uneasy?

Lies are just that, thoughts that leave questions and doubt. They settle deep inside you and make you say what if? Not in the positive sense. Or that feel so much deeper than truth when it comes to failure.

A few weeks ago, I met with a gal for dinner. A gal who is fifteen years younger than me. I was late, our time was short and I walked out of the restaurant feeling like a failure. And that is just that, a lie. Something I don’t need to believe, rather something I need to let roll off.

I don’t know why this year versus any other year, but so far in the month of November I’ve felt nothing short of a failure. It’s far to easy to let those thoughts and lies settle inside. I need to shrug them off and move forward.

Now, here’s where the rubber meets the road.

BUT…

what if God used my feeling of failure, defeat even, to bring someone to the cross? What if my failing is the only thing that would bring someone to Him (or closer to Him)? Am I willing to be that vessel, the one who is willing to be broken, bruised and leave my own ego on the floor only to pick up the confidence that only comes with a personal relationship with Jesus?

That may feel almost impossible in your current circumstances, but please take a step back, broaden your view. Focus on God’s truth, on His love, His mercy and grace. His plans.

Now, can you see why it is so important to ultimately lay down your life, surrender your way? Lay down those lies at the foot of the cross? I desire daily for His story to be written (and visible) in and through my life. I want His ways, not my confidence.

This is the only way that we will ever truly know Him. And though I’m a broken, fallible human being… He is God and Him in me is the only way I want to live. Faith and trust are some of the hardest, most gut wrenching things I encounter with my faith. How about you, what do you struggle with?